They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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