i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
