You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
