I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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