I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
