That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
