I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
