Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
