you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
