we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
