dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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