Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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