Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
