I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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