you win again, gameday.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think your dad took our porno
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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