By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
