He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
