There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i love accidental penises.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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