I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
