i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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