Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
