he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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