He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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