I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
