Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
