fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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