this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
