ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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