I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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