I hope mine doesn't look like that
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Randomize
