I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
