I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
