She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
the liver wants what the liver wants
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
