He passed out mid-signature
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
