I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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