we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
