well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
