Do vagina's smell?
she smelled like a LAN party
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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