I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you would pick up someone in the library
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
