I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
try to milk me bitch
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