dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
