so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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