make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
