So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
