If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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