the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
