I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize
