Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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