mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
