a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
