Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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