I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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