check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
These tits shall not be calmed
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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