we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
