I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
wanna go halves on a baby?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's no shave November. This is our time.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
